Too Fat to Fish

You and Artie are both Italian Americans from the East Coast. Did these similarities assist the writing process?

Artie and I share a bond beyond our ethnic heritage: we’re both the only sons of diminutive, willful, and loving mothers. I don’t have a sister, as he does, but that commonality gave me a very clear understanding of his family dynamic right away. I grew up on Long Island and Artie is from New Jersey, and though he’s older than I am, our family backgrounds and extended relatives might as well be the same because we’re both Italian American on all sides. From our first meeting, there was this understood, unstated language between us. More than any other book I’ve co-written, I was able to access the nuances of Artie’s story and narrative voice very naturally and very easily in terms of the writing. Right from the start, anything I thought to add to or expand upon on my own he agreed with and improved upon when he saw the draft. It really was a great, collaborative effort when it came to the words on the page. I started each chapter with various raw materials, either interviews we did to tapes of him telling the story on the Howard Stern Show to Artie’s handwritten notes. I’d take that and turn it into a chapter, which he would review and add to. There wasn’t one instance where he rejected anything and less than a handful of times that he felt like I made a joke or used a phrase that didn’t work.

Artie has been in the news for having some serious drug addiction issues. Did this effect your writing process?

It was the elephant in the room. We never spoke about it, but it certainly got in the way. I’ve heard rumors that people think our publisher had to lock us in a hotel to get the book done, which is completely untrue. Artie and I had a very good working relationship but a very erratic schedule because of his habit. When we met we would get through what I needed to write two or three chapters. But then we’d not meet again and he’d not return the drafts of those chapters for long stretches. Sometimes we’d work in person and some times we’d work on the phone, which had a lot to do with his situation. I’ve been around the block enough to know that he wasn’t sober, but Art always did everything he could to give me what I needed to make the book the best it could be. It wasn’t my place to get in his business on that level. It was my place to keep him focused on working with me to write a great book, however. And I think we did that.

How has being part of the Stern Universe affected you?

Howard’s world is a biodome unto itself. I’d thought I’d gotten oddball email over the years, but I had no idea. I’m just a bit player, I can’t imagine what it’s like to be one of the actual planets in the Stern solar system. Or even a Wack Pack satellite for that matter. Scratch that - I’d rather not try to imagine what it’s like to be a member of the Wack Pack. I do appreciate the Stern fans’ enthusiasm. I’ve gotten more emails suggesting titles for Artie’s next book than I know what to do with. Across the board Stern fans behave as if they’ve known you forever. They’ll send you a sentence or a thought as if you’ve been chatting for half an hour and know what they’re talking about. They also universally skew towards sharing their criticism while reserving their praise. Though, I must say, no one has stepped out and sent me an email that they hated the book or that I did a bad job writing for Artie. That’s not an invitation, by the way.